Renungan Katak Kecil di Bulan Ramadhan

[sebuah surat balasan]

Aku adalah seekor katak kecil yang tak memiliki apa-apa kecuali cinta yang seringkali aku artikan semaunya. Aku merasakan cinta yang tiada terkira kepadamu. Ya kepadamu, sahabatku. Cinta yang, sekali lagi, sering aku salah artikan. Cinta yang mungkin karena keegoisanku, banyak melahirkan tuntutan yang sebenarnya tidak perlu. Cinta yang terlalu. Tapi, aku masih tetap percaya, setidaknya ini bentuk cinta… walaupun mungkin tak sepantasnya.

Hari ini aku menerima surat darimu setelah duapuluh purnama lamanya engkau meninggalkan kolam kecil kita. Kolam yang dari dulu kita pelihara indahnya, tempat bermain dan memandang kilau dunia. Sambil sesekali mengagumi bulan, menjaga lumut tetap subur dan memelihara air tetap jernih sampai akhirnya engkau memilih untuk pindah ke kolam lain. Aku sedih ketika itu. Sekali lagi, pastilah ini karena ego berlebih dan kesadaran yang masih sangat rendah. Aku hanya bisa menangis, dengan air mata yang kutarik sebisanya, tumpah ke dalam hati. Semuanya semata-mata karena aku sendiri menyadari air mata ini tidak layak kupamerkan demi kepindahan sahabat menuju kolam idamannya. Dan yang lebih penting, kepindahan ini adalah juga karena CINTA. Aku berharap pastilah di kolam sana juga ada cinta. Cinta yang mudah-mudahan lebih indah, lebih universal dan lebih menyejukkan tidak saja bagi penghuni kolam tapi juga jagat sekitar.

Sahabatku, aku membaca suratmu hari ini dengan senyum sedikit kecut. Ada yang aneh rasanya. Seperti masih tidak percaya kata-kata itu keluar dari bibir mungilmu. Kata-kata yang sangat berbeda dengan yang pernah kita ucapkan dulu ketika kita sama-sama berdoa memuja dan mensyukuri kenyataan bahwa seluruh jagat raya dikaruniai kebahagiaan berlimpah. Kata-katamu kini bebeda. Kata-kata yang dengan tegas mencirikan bahwa engkau telah menjadi bagian dari kolam yang baru. Kata-kata yang tidak saja menunjukkan pengakuan tapi juga keberpihakan.

Meski terasa sangat aneh di telingaku, aku tidak berani menghakimimu. Barangkali seperti itulah saharusnya seekor katak kecil berlaku di kolam baru. Dengan ksatria mengakui keberpihakannya dan dengan lantang menyuarakan kebenaran-kebenaran yang baru saja diperolehnya dari kolam idamannya. Ini adalah tindakan seorang yang percaya dengan kebenaran diri.

Seperti itulah aku berpikir tentangmu saat ini. Aku berusaha menjadikan semuanya tetap jernih, mencoba mengusir ego berlebih yang mungkin tak kan pernah diperlukan.

Namun, aku hanya sedikit berharap. Semoga suratmu hari ini adalah surat universal untuk kebaikan seluruh jagat raya. Bukan surat “picik” yang hanya akan menyukseskan penggolongan dan pengelompokan makhluk di muka bumi. Bukan juga surat yang sibuk membanggakan kolam sendiri yang barangkali menurutmu terlalu indah untuk dibandingkan. Ini adalah harapan sederhana seekor katak kecil yang pernah menjadi sahabatmu dulu.

Aku menerima dengan lapang hati semua kebanggaanmu. Aku menyaksikan dengan dengan seksama bagaimana engkau menjalani transformasi ini. Aku adalah satu dari sekumpulan katak kecil lain yang sesungguhnya merintih menyaksikan kebanggaan yang terasa berlebih ini, tapi syukurlah kami adalah pemuja segala kebaikan yang universal adanya. Dengan itu kami tidak pernah menganggapmu berbeda.

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Robohnya Indonesia Kami

[duka cita mendalam]

It has been less than 24 lunar cycles since the collapse of Indonesia due to the terrible Bali Bombing. Now the nation is once again crying for a similar bomb blast at Kuningan, Jakarta. The figure of ‘nine’ is, of course, too many for the deaths with no reason. More than a hundred were told seriously injured, for a sacrifice they never know the aim. Indonesia! How sad our nation’s destiny is! It can never escape from the cycle of irritating noise. A noise caused not only the death of economy but also the degradation of self confidence. It sometimes declines to the lowest critical point that seems to be irreversible. The noise caused a bloody flood and the lost of lives without any certain meaning. Our nation is broken down terribly!

We are the ordinary people who can only turn our head down and sometimes cry sadly seeing what is happening. We are witnessing some relatives whose not only hand, legs and half faces are burnt out but also souls accompanied by touching cry. The hell fire, that is never clear who the owner and what the aim, has burnt them. Nobody knows the reasons, everything is blurred and will never be obvious. We can only shake our head repeatedly for the unbelievable happening. When is everything getting better?

We fully realise this is a wrong doing! We also acknowledge this will bring mourning not only to those who lose their legs, hands and even lives but also to whole over the nation, which is now turning its head down deeply and moaning sadly. We know the sadness will last so long, leave the ruins of economic death. We don’t know whether it is recoverable.

We keep questioning reflectively. Why is this happening to us? Is it a ‘karmapala’ for whatever crimes we have been doing for almost the entire life? Or is it a result of the carelessness of the authorities of our nation who never think seriously and comprehensively toward the signs the nature has provided? This is probably a serious warning for whatever ‘never ending’ fights we have been doing against brothers and relatives. This is apparently a punishment that must soon awake us from a long nightmare. Or can it be just a small dream in a lazy noon-sleep with no significant meaning? We can never fully understand!

We are the people who will never believe that the cruelness is based on a virtue of a particular spiritual belief. To us, it’s impossible!!! We are maybe ATHEISTS but we always respect and sing an enchanting song to the greatness of every single spiritual faith and religion the people believe on earth. We are the respecters of all kindness. Nothing will seduce us to point at any of the great spiritual faith and claim it to be behind all these stupid scenarios. Even though one is responsible for that and claim to be a representative of particular spiritual group, we believe that she/he is only a bulk of muscle and bone hiding cowardly behind the sanctity of that purity. What do you think?

We hope this is more than enough to awake us from a long sleep. Just let them be the only victims and no more! God will go along with us to reconstruct the terribly broken nation. Please let us do better in life. [Sydney, September 10, 2004]

Working Part Time while Studying in Sydney

[a simple guide for begineer]
Introduction

Studying overseas is a dream of thousands and maybe millions of Indonesian people. This is not because it guarantees better results compared to local education system but, sometimes, a matter of pride and reputation. However, the dream often ends in a dream because the tuition fee is incredibly expensive. Studying a master degree in Sydney Australia, for instance, needs more than a hundred million rupiahs. That is not the end of the story because it has to be added with living expenses, which is also, certainly expensive.

Studying with scholarship is, of course, one of the recourses to overcome money problems. With AusAID scholarship, for example, a student does not have to worry about tuition fee and living expenses since the scholarship has taken care all of them with a reasonable level of satisfaction. AusAID also provides significant additional allowances if you take your family (wife/husband and children) with you. Simply, with scholarship you work out one of your worries.

Unfortunately, getting a scholarship, like AusAID, is not easy. From around 5000s applicants, AusAID awards only 300 scholarships all over Indonesia. That is after considering several aspects such as employment sector (government, private, or individual), position and the role of candidate in supporting development in Indonesia and Indonesia-Australia relationship, and the hometown of candidates. Candidates coming from eastern territory of Indonesia, reasonably, will have more chance than those from western territory.

A promising recourse you might consider is working part time while studying overseas. Many Indonesian students do this while completing their study in Sydney, Australia. The idea is how students can afford their living expenses, so their parents (or other funding resources) focus only on the tuition fees. Let us see some important thing toward working part time while studying in Sydney, Australia.

Living Expenses: A Brief Illustration

Accommodation rent is the most expensive expenses in Sydney. The average rental price of a single bedroom flat unit located near university campus (UNSW) can be AUD 200 per week. A two-bedroom unit ranges from AUD 270 to AUD 300 per week for a reasonable level of convenience (student-standard). The later type of accommodation is usually preferable because more than one students can occupy it. This makes the rental price per head becomes much more affordable. A student, who shares accommodation with others, pays averagely AUD 120 of rent per week.


To afford healthy meal, a student can spend approximately AUD 50 per week. Transportation expense can reach up to AUD 20 per week (without concession). Other expense is communication (mobile phone and calling Indonesia), for about AUD 15 per week. (depending on communication behavior). Lastly, electricity and telephone bill is approximately AUD 20 per week.

Total expense per week is around AUD 230s with an acceptable living standard and healthy life style. With no doubt, this calculation will vary on different people. The fact shows that some Indonesian students, who share their accommodation with others, pay only AUD 70 of rent per week, do not worry about electricity bill, and do not have to catch a bus to go to campus. This is, of course, very handy and can minimize weekly expense.

Student Visa and Working Permit

Student visa a student has obtained at the first time usually contains no working permit. To obtain a working permit, a student needs to come to the Australian Immigration Office, DIMIA (Department of Immigration and Multicultural and indigenous Affairs, http://www.immi.gov.au/), for visa update by paying AUD 55 (March 2004). The main requirements are filling the application form, and enclosing the proof of course commencement. The latter requirement is obtainable from university where a student studies. Holding this visa, a student will be entitled to working for 20 hours a week.


For those who study in Australia with AusAID scholarship, visa update will be of International Student Service’s (ISS) task. Student can simply ask them take care everything without paying any cent. However, it, sometimes, takes longer time to accomplish since everything has to be done collectively. That is why, some scholarship holders come to DIMIA themselves after having the form stamped by the university’s ISS to have the process much quicker. For a student coming with wife or husband, they can accomplish the visa update at once.

Tax File Number (TFN)

Having a Tax File Number (TFN) is compulsory for whoever holding a working permit visa and wishes to work in Australia. This is becoming an employee’s ID regarding taxation matter, similar with the Indonesia’s NPWP (Nomor Pokok Wajib Pajak). Without TFN, no company will hire you since it cannot give you your salary because no tax can be deducted from salary.


TFN is obtainable by either registering online at the Australian Taxation Office (ATO) website, http://www.ato.gov.au/, or coming in person to the nearest ATO. This is, of course, after finishing everything related to working permit visa. TFN registration can take maximally 28 days since the day you register, but it is usually no longer than 10 days. ATO will send the TFN to you in a sealed envelope TFN and it is then ready for any salary and taxation matter.

Once you get your TFN, it is applicable for lifetime. No update/change is needed in accordance with changing of name, address, occupation, marital status, etc.

Searching Information and Applying for Job

Information on a job position is usually available either on company website, through advertisement at mass media (newspaper, bulletin, television channel, radio), by leaflet, or information told orally by people around you. A retail company, like Coles Supermarket, always posts its vacancy on its website at http://www.coles.com.au/ and enables candidates to apply online. A female Indonesian student at UNSW who is currently working at Coles said that she applied for the job through Internet and finally was invited for interview and group dynamics. Other vacancies available through the Internet are position in Oporto Restaurant (http://www.oporto.com.au/), Woolworths Supermarket (http://www.woolworths.com.au/), etc. If you, sometimes, go hanging out to mall and do window-shopping, you probably can see many available job positions displayed in front of stores and counters. Similar vacancy advertisement can also be accessed through printed media such as The Sydney Morning Herald, Southern Courier, etc or through career development unit in a particular university. UNSW, for example, has an online job opportunity at http://www.careers.unsw.edu.au/student/jobsonline/. Many kinds of vacancies are available varying from shop attendant until research assistant, either part time or full time. This unit also provides workshops for assisting candidate in writing application letter, generating a good and tempting CV/resume, and preparing for interview test.


Another popular way to get information about job opportunity is through oral information. A student who has been working in a company, sometimes, can have a better access to the information of job opportunity, even to the unpublicized one. Sometimes, this vacancy is even to replace the position of the informer because he/she will quit the job (for the reason of study or back for good). This will, very much, depend on recommendation and usually does not need any complicated administration matter. A candidate can simply come to working place (usually with the recommender), get interviewed and do an on the job training for one or two days. If the candidate can satisfy the employer, everything should be fine.

An Indonesian student at UNSW said that he did not need to wait for a vacancy add but directly called a pastry company and told the boss his willingness to work. A few weeks later, the company called him for interview and one-day on the job training. After observing his promising performance, the company then hired him as a casual employee. This is a very good example telling us that a pro-active behavior significantly increases the chance to get a job we desire.

What Job and How Much is the Salary?

It is obvious that almost everybody wants to get a job matching his/her field/background with satisfactory salary. Unfortunately, obtaining a job matching your expertise and knowledge background is not easy in Sydney, especially if you are working part time or casual. Some popular jobs for students are restaurant water/waitress, kitchen hand (dishwashing), computer data entry, baby-sitting, gardening, farming, pastry making, laundry, house keeping, shop attendant, etc. The above-mentioned job will be paid approximately AUD 10-16 per hour. Other jobs such as tutoring, library assistant, research assistant, can earn more money, around AUD 20+ per hour. However, obtaining such kind of job is, once again, not easy and highly competitive.


Suppose that the average salary of part time job is AUD 13, this means a student can earn averagely AUD 240s per week after tax deduction. This earning is, with no doubt, enough to afford a student’s weekly expenses, which is around AUD 230s. An Indonesian Environmental Engineering student optimistically asserted that his salary at OPORTO restaurant is enough for his living allowances. Jokingly he said he could live healthily by consuming juice everyday since it is only for AUD 2. “This is affordable by only ten-minute-salary of mine or even less [than ten minutes]”, he added.

Cash On Hand vs. Taxable Job

Two kinds of jobs are available in Sydney, based on its tax: without tax or cash on hand and with tax or taxable job. Cash on hand is actually an illegal job but is widely practiced. With this system, a company does not bother on taxation matter and this means an employee does not pay income tax. Despite of uncomfortable feeling it caused, the salary is usually below the average standard.


Even though cash on hand is quite risky, many students remain doing it. An Indonesian student who was working at a Thai restaurant stated, “It is indeed a risk of the employer, not of us because we have a working permit on our visa. It is a matter of their relationship with government if they pay us without tax. Nothing to do with us”. What do you think?

For taxable job, nothing is to worry about since everything is on the legal track. Sometimes, those who really need money do ‘combined’ jobs (taxable and cash on hand job) are usually the recourse. It is not recommended but some people said it is effective :). They can work for 20 hours at the ‘legal’ place and, at the same week, for unlimited hours at the ‘illegal’ one. A lecturer of an Indonesian institution who is currently studying at UNSW, Sydney confirmed that he ever did such kind of jobs. “It was not bad. I could earn more than AUD 400 per week, more than what AusAID is currently giving me”, said the lecturer and then laughed. He also mentioned that he did that for no more than ONE month since he felt tired and uncomfortable. “I do not recommend anybody does it”, he said.

However, this kind of practice is, once again, illegal. For whatever reason nobody are suggested to do this. This is not only unconfortable but also dangerous. Deportation and visa cancelation are the consequences.

Taxation and Tax return

In case of working for a taxable job, company will automatically transfer your salary to your nominated financial institution (i.e. bank account) on a certain day every week. Some companies pay salary on the first working day, Friday, while others on the last one, Monday. As previously mentioned, an employee has to have a Tax File Number (TFN) for the purpose of tax deduction. Company deducts tax from your weekly salary of particular percentage. The amount of tax depends on your total annual income, where the income of AUD 6000 or less is without tax. It is, of course, difficult to know how much a student will earn in a year, since she/he works for part time or casual. Consequently, it is not easy to define the amount of tax per week. In this case, company will remains deducting tax from her/his salary per week at amount of reasonable percentage. This means, total tax deducted might be more or less (hardly happen) than the tax the student should pay. Tax fare/tariff in detail is available at the ATO official website, http://www.ato.gov.au/.


At the end of financial year (June 30), company will issue an annual income recapitulation, called a group certificate for tax return claim. Tax return is the total difference of tax amount that company has deducted from an employee’s annual salary compared to the actual tax he/she should pay. This is claimable at the end of financial year. For example, a student has been working for 5 months by June 30, 2004 with gross salary of AUD 6,000 and has paid tax of AUD 1,000 (meaning that he has received AUD 5000 of salary). This student can claim tax return of AUD 1,000 because an employee with an income of AUD 6,000 or less is not entitled to paying tax. In case total income is AUD 8,000, taxable income is only AUD 2,000, meaning that tax is the percentage of the AUD 2,000 salary not of AUD 8,000.

To claim tax return, you can use tax agent, post office, or e-tax (via internet). For the last alternative, a tax claimer needs to download small software of 4.5 MB (kind of an interactive form) from http://www.ato.gov.au/, install it in a PC, fill the form and then lodge the filled form using internet connection. This is very handy and recommended because this can significantly decrease the ATO officers load for data re-entry. Consequently, you will have the tax return accomplished in only 4-5 working days. Suppose, you submitted the form on Sunday afternoon, the claimer may already receive the money on Friday morning in her/his bank account through Electronic Fund Transfer (EFT).

The last words

There are plenty of ways to make the dream of studying abroad comes true. Working part time is only one of the recourses to afford living expense, excluding tuition fee. Should you are confident of having a good ability both in language (English) and academics, you may try applying for scholarship, which are plenty of them available for Indonesian citizens. If you are interested in applying for AusAID scholarship (ADS), please feel free to visit http://www.adsjakarta.or.id/ for more details and inquiries. The deadline for each year is on September. Hopefully this will encourage those who are keen to study overseas, especially Sydney, Australia. Good luck on your search! See you someday in an Australian institution you are dreaming.

Kebaikan yang Tidak Baik

[tidak menyenangkan, tapi kenyataan]

Jika ada kebaikan yang membuahkan kesenangan, persahabatan dan kebahagiaan, siapapun pasti tidak heran. Untuk semua hal positif itulah dilakukan kebaikan! Tapi jika ada kebaikan yang justru mengakibatkan ketidaknyamanan, renggangnya persahabatan dan kegelisahan, mungkin orang jadi bertanya-tanya.

Hidup memang tidak semudah membalikkan telapak tangan. Menjaga hubungan baik juga bagian yang sangat sulit dalam keseharian kita. Namun ini benar-benar terjadi! Pernahkah Anda merasa perlu memberi bantuan kepada teman yang sedang dalam kesulitan? Saya yakin pasti pernah atau mungkin sering. Bantuan moral berupa nasihat, motivasi dan dukungan adalah sesuatu yang abstrak namun tinggi nilainya. Disamping tinggi nilainya, bantuan semacam ini juga sangat jarang menimbulkan masalah susulan. Perasaan bangga bagi penolong dan perasaan berutang bagi si penerima sama-sama abstrak dan kualitatif. Karena kualitatif inilah kedua belah pihak tidak pernah berkeinginan untuk saling menghitung jasa dan utang masing-masing. Kalau boleh disebut utang, utang semacam ini biasanya tidak harus dibayar karena semua bisa diatasi hanya dengan menjaga hubungan baik. Tetap sopan, menjaga perasaan dan sesekali menyebut kembali ‘kebaikan’ itu di satu saat tertentu biasanya bisa menjadikan semuanya baik-baik saja.

Berbeda halnya dengan utang budi, utang harta punya karakter yang sedikit berbeda. Sifatnya yang nyata dan kuantitatif membuat kedua belah pihak jadi sangat mudah menghitung jasa dan utang masing-masing. Akan sangat jelas kuantitasnya dan kewajiban untuk membayar seakan-akan menjadi lebih kuat. Betapa tidak, angka akan tetap diingat sebelum diselesaikan dengan angka yang sama. Setidaknya hal ini yang biasanya muncul dalam pikiran yang menerima kebaikan. Bagi si pemberi ‘pinjaman’ mungkin tidak seperti itu adanya. Bisa saja si pemberi memang ikhlas dan tidak berpikir lebih jauh.

Perasaan berutang ini adalah sesuatu yang sangat berbahaya. Penggunaan istilah ‘meminjam’ di awal peristiwa (bukan ‘meminta’), walaupun karena sebatas gengsi, adalah titik mula persoalan. Jika sampai pada saat dijanjikan belum bisa mengembalikan, biasanya kegelisahan akan muncul pada pihak yang berutang. Rasa bersalah datang, rasa tidak enak mulai menggangu. Bagi yang mempunyai kemampuan komunikasi yang baik dan jiwa besar, dengan ksatria akan bisa mengatakan ‘maaf saat ini uang belum bisa dikembalikan, karena…’. Si pemberi pinjaman mungkin akan memaklumi apalagi jumlahnya tidaklah besar. Setidaknya tidak sampai membuat si ‘penolong’ tidak bisa makan :). Namun bagi mereka yang tidak terbuka hati dan pikirannya, rasa bersalah ini bisa dimanifestasikan dengan hal-hal yang kurang baik. Dimulai dengan menghidari pertemuan sampai memutuskan komunikasi. Rasa bersalah yang belebihan akan menghadirkan kegelisaahan dan kecurigaan. Setiap gerak-gerik si pemberi pinjaman hampir selalu dikaitkan dengan ‘penagihan’. Telepon yang mungkin hanya basa-basi bisa diartikan menagih utang sehingga perlu untuk dihindari. SMS yang hanya menanyakan kabar dianggap usaha untuk minta pengembalian utang sehingga tidak dijawab. Parahnya lagi, mulai sering (pura-pura) tidak di rumah demi tidak menerima telepon atau mulai menon-aktifkan HP untuk menghindari telepon dan sms. Persahabatan telah retak dengan utang piutang. Persahabatan yang lama dibina akan bernilai mungkin tidak lebih dari 50 ribu rupiah saja. Benar-benar konyol!

Pernahkan Anda mengalami hal semacam ini?

Inilah contoh kebaikan yang tidak berbuah baik. Saya kira kita harus mulai berhati-hati berbuat baik. Daripada menjadikan persahabatan terputus, mungkin lebih baik tidak menolong. Mungkin banyak yang tidak setuju, tapi renungkanlah kemungkinannya!

Tak Berujung

[catatan kecil setelah tiga purnama]

Mungkin benar, aku sesungguhnya adalah serakan tak berarti dalam jagat raya yang terlalu besar untuk diukur. Walau pelajaran kebathinan pernah mengisyaratkan dia tetap masih cukup kecil untuk dibayangkan dengan imajinasiku yang liar, dia,kenyataannya masih sangat besat. Menjadi bagian yang entah apa maknanya, kadang aku merasa begitu berarti. Di lain hari ketiadamengertian menghiasi pikiran dan kesendirianku menyusuri jalan tak berujung. Lahir, hidup tumbuh menjadi besar dan kemudian mati, konon adalah hukum Tuhan yang tiada ingkarannya berlaku untuk makhluk manusia. Kelahiran dan kematian, dua hal yang memulai dan mengahkiri cerita, adalah misteri yang kabarnya manusia tidak diberi kuasa untuk memilih waktu dan cara terjadinya. Semoga tetap rahasia ini akan jadi misteri agar hidupku menjadi bergairah dan selalu menakjubkan.

Karena rahasianya, tentu bukan kelahiran dan kematianku yang menjadi perhatian melainkan adalah hidup dan pertumbuhan itu, masa di mana aku diberi cukup wewenang untuk mengatur dan menentukan. Mengisi hidup itu dengan akal, intuisi dan naluri adalah seni. Hak untuk menjalankan kebenaran bathin adalah di atas semuanya sampai suatu ketika kehidupan bersama orang lain melahirkan batasan-batasan sosial yang konon memudahkan tapi seringkali terasa membelenggu. Aku hidup dalam lingkaran itu dan menjadi bagian yang tak terpisahkan. Larutlah irama hidup dalam alunan mantra-mantra yang melingkar membatasi. Aku menjadi bagian dari sekumpulan ‘aku’. Mengikuti naluri dan menyesuaikan dengan lingkaran, itulah yang menjadi seni perjalanan pada akhirnya!

Memutuskan untuk memilih pasangan hidup adalah naluriku. Namun menjalani ritual yang kadang terasa tak berarti adalah bentuk kompromi terhadap aturan lingkaran yang mengelilingi. Pernikahan adalah hasilnya. Inilah perpaduan yang kuharap melahirkan apa yang disebut kebahagiaan. Pernikahan menjadi tradisi, dicirikan dengan senyum, tawa dan bahkan gairah yang dibalut busana, kemegahan pesona dan keangkuhan duniawi. Aku berubah pikiran!. Bahwa pernikahanku adalah senyum, tawa, pesta dan bahkan nafsu yang memabukkan. Ini adalah ujung perjuangan yang layak aku dapatkan setelah seribu hari menahan hasrat. Ini kemenanganku!

Waktu berlalu tanpa sekejap pun berhenti untuk sejenak memberi jeda. Sementara keberlangsungan tidak boleh terhenti, aku harus memberi makna setiap peristiwa dan menandai setiap pelajaran yang hanyut bersamanya. Akhirnya harus kulakukan sambil berjalan, berlari kecil bahkan terbang untuk mengimbangi. Tentu saja catatan yang dibuat di atas lontar yang digamit di tepi sungai dengan tusukan ilalang yang diraih tanpa rencana adalah catatan yang sama sekali tidak lengkap. Pelajaranku tentulah setengah-setengah dengan hasil yang barangkali mengenaskan. Tapi semoga cukup untuk memberi makna pada perjalanan itu. Dengan catatan yang terbatas, aku temukan ceceran makna.

Ada kesadaran kecil menyeruak, pernikahan ini ternyata adalah permainan yang selengkapnya. Ada air mata yang mengimbangi tawa, ada perih yang mengimbangi kenikmatan dan ada kegelapan hati yang seringkali bahkan mengalahkan kecerahan. Pernikahanku ternyata adalah juga pengabdian dan pekerjaan yang harus diupayakan sendiri untuk mencapai hasil bahkan bonus yang diinginkan. Pernikahan adalah perjuangan. Perjuangan yang jauh lebih berat dari menuliskan kode-kode untuk menerjemahkan analogy ke digital, perjuangan yang jauh lebih sulit dari bercerita dan berkelakar tentang kebusukan tikus-tikus di sekitarku, perjuangan yang jauh lebih sulit dari hinaanku terhadap seorang Bapak yang telah menelantarkan anak istrinya karena ketertarikannya pada kenikmatan duniawi. Dan perjuangan ini juga jauh lebih sulit dari sekedar gumaman turut prihatin karena seorang anak kecil tidak bisa sekolah karena hari ini Bapaknya tidak bisa mencuri! [Iwan fals’]

Masih terlalu banyak waktu dan tempatku untuk belajar semoga aku selalu menyempatkan diri memberi makna. Semoga pernikahan ini menjadi apa adanya, tidak menjadi TUHAN dan tidak juga menjadi hantu bagiku. Semoga! [Harry Rusly’s]

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    counter_id=76891; display_type=”daily_country_visitors”; skin=null; mapside=null; autoresize=null;

    counter_id=76891; display_type=”total_country_visitors”; skin=null; mapside=null; autoresize=null;

    counter_id=76891; display_type=”cities_online”; skin=null; mapside=null; autoresize=null;

    counter_id=76891; display_type=”recent_cities”; skin=null; mapside=null; autoresize=null;

    counter_id=76891; display_type=”daily_city_visitors”; skin=null; mapside=null; autoresize=null;

    counter_id=76891; display_type=”total_city_visitors”; skin=null; mapside=null; autoresize=null;